Communication can be tricky. Even with the best of intentions sometimes we muck it up. This link is to an overview of effective communication skills. Here are some helpful hints on how to be assertive. And here is a link to an article on good listening skills. There are also free online courses on aspects of communication (like these) and many many books and audio books on the subject if you really are serious about improving. Harriet Lerner's book called the Dance of Connection is a good start to looking at how to communicate when your emotions are high. Click on the hyperlinks to take you to the page you want.